In this first article in the “Get Happiness” series, we will explore who’s happiness we’re talking about and how we define it. There are some clear lessons that happy people have to teach us on how to define what ‘happy’ means for each of us.
1. Have your Own happiness philosophy
- Happy people understand themselves clearly and accept what they find. They have a strong grasp of right and wrong and are their own judges. They understand what their vision of happiness is and will create a life to get it. So, there is no value in letting someone else create your dreams for you. Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but that’s OK. When you catch yourself losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing… for you!
- Happy people know that they are not competing with anyone else for happiness and feel no need to make comparisons. They know that every person is living a story so unique that drawing comparisons would be an absurd and simplistic exercise in futility. Their only comparison is with the person they were yesterday.
- By the way, that means also that happy people don’t blindly accept what they read on the internet. So, enjoy these articles but view them through the lens of your own vision of happiness. After all, we’re talking about your happiness, not mine. You make take inspiration from the successes of theirs but that’s only useful if you found truths that satisfy you.
2. Please yourself first
- Happy people like themselves first and foremost and understand that they are the only people they need answer to. We may like them or dislike them or pay them no mind whatsoever —it rarely makes a difference to truly happy people. This doesn’t make them selfish or sociopaths, it simply means that they have a good sense of what works for them.
- As a happy person, you are the only person that truly knows what’s right in your world; after all, you are the only person living your life. You’ll be doing what you do because you decided to do it, rather than trying to gain the approval or acceptance of others around you. You don’t need to be part of a team – you’re a team of your own.
- Happy people focus on the quality of their relationships, instead of the quantity of them. Other people’s opinions of you is none of your business, it’s theirs. Of course you care about the well-being of others and aim to make a positive impact in the world but you’ll recognise that negative opinions stem from other people living their lives and viewing you through their own lens. This is NOT your truth. You know that true friends will accept you as you are, and they’ll be invested in your happiness, in your terms. People will be pleased to see you being who you really are rather than to see you people pleasing.
- Your face is just fine and there is no need to wear a mask to impress others. If you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So if the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing behind it. Happy people don’t fear the judgments of others; they know that they don’t need to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let others be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections. And don’t bother trying to make others like something you’re not.
3. Be your own centre
- Happy people become surrounded by positive people. Your happiness is infectious and is a magnet to other happy people. They get it and they get you… even if their happiness takes on a different form. When you’re living in your own truth, other people who share, or at least understand, that truth will be drawn to you.
- Happiness is also a powerful repellent to negative company. Unhappy people may be drawn to you for a while but, if they can’t share your happiness, they’ll soon move away. Your joy will remind them of how miserable they are and it (or you) will be unbearable. The trick is to hold to your own happiness and not to let anyone else’s bad attitude tarnish your joy. Remember, they can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun.
- When you’re happy, the company that surrounds you is an outcome, not an obligation, or a goal. By being happy with yourself, the right people will gravitate to you and the rest will sail on by.
Is it time to begin your own journey to happiness? Can you define what happiness means to you?
Get ready to explore your path to ‘happy’. Start with these three actions right now: